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Paranoid Reprise (Voicemail #2)

Hi hon, it’s me

Remember your wife of seven years?

Yes it’s true, I’m your wife of seven years

That’s a statement of fact

Now considering

That I’ve been your wife for seven years

I just can’t quite rationalize you not calling me back


Sure you’ll say you’re with a client, or a meeting went long

If that were true there wouldn’t be a reprise of this song

And of course you know I trust you to the ends of the earth

But if we’re being honest,

Yes I did drive by your office

Just to check out Tori’s Prius 

I could key it, but I promise


I’m not paranoid

I’m just calling to make sure you’re okay

I’m not paranoid

Although really who could blame me

After not-for-profit Amy

Who’d have thought at a fundraiser

I’d be tempted by my taser


But I know this time is different

Though I can’t quite put my finger on the how or the why

So you should know

You’d lose all my respect

If you cheated on me with someone

Who chose to end their first name with an “i”

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